The jogging man was coming. He had been coming for days, or longer. No one really knew how long he had been running; he had appeared in Smity 10 days ago, and they had heard of him from the lettuce man from Rathaham. No one knew when he had started, or where, or why.
But unless he keeled over dead, he was due any time.
The people of McNeelywood were beginning to gather in the streets. How unusual. Who was this man? Should they let him in? Was this an elaborate plot to steal their gas? But the fear was far overwhelmed with the curiosity of the stranger who would soon be in their midsts. What did he look like, this man from another land? Was he handsome? Ugly? How had the radiation affected the people in his land? Was it as bad as McNeelywood? Worse? Better? What did people do there? Had the elaborate trade systems developed there as they had here? Or were towns more autonomous there?
Did their children live?
Old Sooty had a motorcycle that she had repaired, and she decided to ride out to meet the jogging man. It was a frivolous waste of gas, but there were times where frivolous expenditures were necessary. With a sputter the old machine started up, kicking and protesting, with old Sooty on top. Carefully, she eased the cycle around the townspeople, around the badly filled shell.holes in the cracked pavement, and took off into the dimly lit afternoon haze, her white hair flapping in the wind behind her.
Old Sooty smiled. It had been a few years since she had had an excuse to go for a ride like this. Ah, how she missed the days when she would ride, for hours, for days, with no goal, no destination, with Pat clinging to her. Dear Pat. I don't know which of us was the luckier one.
The jogging man was coming. There. On the horizon, or at least, at the top of the hill. Sooty killed the engine and coasted up to the man, intending to coast down the hill as he jogged.
"Howdy," she called out. "How're you doing?"
The jogging man looked at her, his eyes wild and weary, reddened with fatigue and pain. He was drenched in sweat, and limping. His backpack swung with each step, digging into his ribs.
"Terribly," he managed to get out. He coughed a bit, then settled down. "I have a terrible stitch in my side. I think that I may die soon. Do you have any water? I haven't had a drink since yesterday."
"Uh...," Sooty was appalled at herself. She hadn't brought him anything! No water, no food. There was no telling when the last time he had eaten was, much less bathed or shaved or slept. His feet were bloodied lumps at the end of skinny legs. His skin was drawn, and would have been pale had the excercise and the cold not flushed his skin. "No."
"Cheom bless you, my child," he said. "My name is Brian. I am a priest of Cheom. I do this work for It, whose infinite wisdom is exceeded only by Its infinite curiosity."
"Cheom?" She had never heard of it. Must be some newfangled southern religion.
"CHEOM!" Brian intoned, with sudden vigor, "whose wrath upon the unbelievers and potential unbelievers has been delivered, 30 years ago to the day on this very day, or somewhere around there. CHEOM, who hath delivered the righteous to the dark realm of death, and left a broken world for those whose sins were of the wrong type for Its appetite." Brian pulled a largish text from his backpack. "It is all in here," he said, holding up a tattered and dogeared copy entitled CHEOMETICS.
Sooty looked at him dubiously. Brians feet made little squishy squishy squishy noises as he ran. He grimaced with each step.
"So you do this, and then you're saved or something?"
"No, not exactly."
They continued on in silence for a bit. Suddendly Brian looked at Old Sooty as if through a tv eye. His left eye twitched a little, uncontrolled and somehow seemingly dissociated with the rest of his face. "CHEOMETICS can be yours today," Brian said calmly. "For a small donation. How much would you pay...?" He trailed off. Then suddenly "BUT WAIT!!!! You also get this fabulous lemon peeler, absolutely free, just for subscribing. And some lemon peels, only a few weeks old!"
"Uh, I'll get back to you." she started up the cycle and sped back toward town. Boy were they were in for a big surprise.
"ORDER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!" Brian screamed after her, "SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!!!!"