Someone New - Part VI - annotated

hi ho.

well, here goes.  i've inserted stuff that brian would "actually"
say.  the stuff i've inserted is between <<>>'s (example: <<"Cheom is
the Way and the Blight,"  said Brian cheerily.  "It is easier for a
poor man to put a needle through the eye of a camel than for a rich man
to enter the kingdom of Cheom.">>

hope you like it.
send me a copy of the story when you post it.

brni

				----------

     Brian turned from Darkstar's door, discouraged.  He had offered her
enlightenment, and she had turned him away.  "May I tell you about Cheom?"
<<"Woman, clothe thyself.  I have come to teach you of Cheom!">>
he had asked brightly when she had, half-dressed and still groggy, come to the
door.
     "Who?" she had mumbled.
     "Cheom!  The Great One."
     "No. G'way."
     "But..."
     "Go.  Away.  *NOW*."
     It was about when she offered to demonstrate a little-known technique
for generating great pain that he had given up on her and wandered off again.
Pacing the darkened hallways--for it was 6 AM, the best time of the day for
enlightenment, after all--Brian soon came to Reg's door.
     "May I tell you about Cheom?" he asked brightly when the agent
<<"I have come to tell you about Cheom.">>
answered, noting with some approval that Reg, at least, seemed to keep
reasonable hours.  (In actual fact, Reg had stayed up reading and hadn't
been to bed yet.)
     "Well, certainly you may, but I find it much more productive for both
sides of such a conversation to share beliefs, not just one.  Would that be
all right?"
     "Of course!  Self-expression is good."
<<"Why?  There is no need to sully the air with such misconceptions and
lies.  I have come to teach you the Truth, not to learn about your
mislaid beliefs.">>  (by the way, it should not be very difficult to
brian realize that reg will not listen to brian if he doesn't get to speak
too, and in the interest of making a convert, will deign to listen to
the story of the great pumpkin.)
     "Well, then, you may tell me about Cheom, and I will tell you about
the Great Pumpkin."
     "What?"
     Reg's voice took on a visionary tone, and as he spoke he gazed off
into the distance and waved his arms grandly.  "The Great Pumpkin.  On
Halloween night, he rises from the most sincere pumpkin patch in the
multiverse and carries toys to all the little girls and boys who believe in
him.  Here, let me get you a pamphlet by our patron saint, Dr. Linus Van
Pelt," he concluded, turning aside for a moment and rooting through a box
of books and papers.
     "But..."
     "Yes?"
     "But... the Great Pumpkin is a ridiculous fable!  Nobody could
possibly believe it!"
<<"Nonsense!  The so-called Great Pumpkin is a lie, a hoax.  It is a vile
concoction of capitalism, for the purpose of selling toys and greeting
cards.  No self respecting god would be orange anyway.">>
     Mortally offended, Reg had slammed the door and Brian had been forced
to wander away, not quite sure whether he had truly offended the eccentric
or whether Reg had been making fun of him.
     Now he knelt in the darkened hall he had insisted be configured for
him, staring at the single candle which cast its light into the gloom.
"Cheom," he prayed fervently, "send me a sign.  No one here will listen to
me.  You must give me a disciple.  Please, dear Cheom, one disciple is all
I ask.  Can you not, in your infinite mercy, let me have just one creature
to bring into the light of your ways?"
<<   Now he knelt in the battered and damaged escape pod in which he had
arrived at the starbucket, staring directly into the single exposed 100watt
bulb which illuminated the barren room.  "Cheom," he prayed fervently,
"they are stupid and arrogant, and will not listen.  Send me a sign for
them, a sign that you are the One True God."  >>  (btw, cheom has finite
mercy, and cheom's ways are not necessesarily "the light")
     And suddenly, through what was surely divine providence--either that,
or blind luck, or a blatant Plot Device--a long-haired human in a greasy black
tee-shirt, filthy slacks without a belt, and a pair of white (now almost
black) tennis shoes popped into being a few feet above him and fell to the
ground at Brian's knees.  He groaned once, tried to raise a hand in what
might have been intended as a greeting, murmured something that sounded
like, "'ame's 'agyver," and passed out.
     Brian's face lit up with joy.  "Thank you, Cheom!" he cried.  "I
_will_ bring this man to see the light!  I swear it!"
<< "Hmm."  Brian frowned.  "Not exactly what I had in mind, but I suppose
he'll do." The ways of Cheom are mysterious indeed, he thought.>>

***************************

feel free to adjust this stuff as you see fit.  but that should give you
some idea of how brian would react.  he would probably set about to heal
macgyver up a bit immediately, and tell him that its a miricle of cheom
that he is alive at all.  (brian, as a d&d style cleric, has healing
spells at his disposal.)

i'm looking forward to seeing this in final form. :)
(btw.  is this before or after the purge?)

brni
(how many times have i signed this thing?)